Feelin’ that Feline vibe…

I have in front of me an advert from Monday’s Daily Mail, a newspaper which I like to skim through in the same way that other people like to peer in at the windows of the local lunatic asylum; we observe, fascinated, as we wonder what on earth goes on in the minds of those on the inside.
Anyway, the advert caught my attention so I thought I’d share it with you. It is entitled:

HOW TO TALK TO YOUR CAT

and the advert concerns, as you might have guessed, a book on how to do exactly that. The theme of lunacy will, I’m afraid, feature quite strongly in this post; check out the first line of the article:

“Listen! You cat is talking to you – your cat is telling you how much she loves you.”

Next stop, schizophrenia.

Imagine, if you will, a lonely man in his fifties, living with Tubbs, his only friend who also happens to be his cat. If I were that lonely man, without the regular checks on my sanity provided by a social life or regular family contact, I might very well believe the above sentence. I’d be encouraged by an advert which then went on, in a warm, reassuring manner, to inform me that

“…the special friend who shares your life has so much to say to you.”

I mean, put like that, who needs conversations with people?

There’s scientific evidence, of course. After all, you’d expect only the greatest scientific minds at work on a book that claims answers to such profound riddles as “Why your cat blinks”.

The promoted book, Your Talking Cat, introduces the reader to a “celebrated cat-assisted therapist”, who has, according to the advert, documented hundreds of experiences of cat-human interaction, which will help you “discover the true depth and strength of the bonds of affection that exist between you and your cat” for a “deeper, more loving relationship”.

I don’t really want to dwell on all the possible ways the above sentence could be interpreted, for who knows where this book could lead to when combined with a strong drink and an even stronger imagination on a cold, lonely Friday night…